Every morning I drive through the car line to drop my girls off. Every morning there are at least 5 moms standing just at the cross point. They are all thin. They have make up on and their hair done. I’ve even see jewelry. I watch them as the line creeps along. Probably with a bit of contempt. I might mix in some jealousy. I generally throw in a dash of pity by the time I make my way out to the main drag.
You see, they run/walk together. I’m happy for them. There are only a couple of people that I agree to run with on a regular basis. I’m afraid of what might happen. There is the intermittent farting you sometimes hear. There are some truly disgusting smells from all sorts of things by the time I’m done. I haven’t really run unless I’m sweating so profusely it looks like I stood in the shower for 10 minutes fully clothed. What’s worse than all that is worrying that I might be slow and holding someone else back. My usual running partner is Tucker. He’s cool because if I stop and walk, it thrills him. His smells are worse that mine…most of the time.
I may be jealous that the skinny girls look great, and smell great from my car. They look like they stepped out of a Nike Catalog before the sweating starts. What I don’t understand is the need to put on super short running shorts, a sports bra and then stand in front of the car line for 15 minutes before you take off. It’s like they watch… “The 300th car just passed ladies, it’s time to take off!” Clearly they want me to see them and feel inferior or for my husband to see them and well… do whatever husbands do when they see fit ladies barely wearing any clothes. Oogle might be the word I’m looking for.
So I’ve been bothered by friends, the Pretties since we started at this school last year. This year, as school has started it’s been taken up a notch. One lady likes to come outside and water her shrubs when the car line starts to form. Yesterday, she was in a leopard print tube top with more gold chains than I could count. She was watering those shrubs while wearing 6 inch wedges. She had on shorts that barely cover her rear. Her kids aren’t even in elementary school anymore. Apparently, she’s still got it though.
I went to two curriculum nights this week. I saw shorts that Daisy Duke would be ashamed to wear. All were worn with heels, most of the time wedges, but one set… they were like platform pumps. The dress code at the school doesn’t allow straps for girls. I think they wanted to stop the girls from wearing undershirts as shirts. That didn’t stop the mothers.
Today, I saw a top that would have made better use as an undershirt, short shorts and heels walking to the school. She had a neat little fall scarf wrapped around her neck. If her neck was that chilly in the 100+ degree weather, can you imagine how chilly her but cheeks were about to fall out of the back of her pants.
Maybe I am just jealous because I couldn’t wear that stuff if I wanted to right now. Call me crazy, if your daughter isn’t allowed to wear something to school, maybe you shouldn’t wear it to meet her teacher. When you are in your 40’s good for you if you can rock that bikini at the beach. It doesn’t mean I want you flashing your rear at my husband in the car line.
I’m thinking a note should go home enforcing dress codes for parents. While we ban the undershirts and Daisy Dukes let’s also ban stuff for the guys… like socks with crocs… what are they thinking?