I mailed myself a package of things that were in Tye’s apartment. It arrived last night…hours after my paranoia set in. The box contained not just Tye’s things but Dad’s. I was in such a stupor, I didn’t even know what was in it. Dad’s rings were. I am an full on idiot. blindly dropped off a box at Gibson’s pharmacy and asked that it be UPSed. I spent a small fortune and crossed my fingers. Bless their hearts, they double wrapped that box in duck tape after I left. Ray thought I had done it. Best move ever since the box arrived cracked and broken, ready to spill it’s contents.

I hope Tye was watching. Ray and the girls tore into it like it was Christmas morning. Purina pocket knives… why did  you save this holster?… handcuffs…really?…don’t put those on!…. The caps did me in. Bria was yelling “Hook ‘Em Horns!” running around the house. Jack had no idea what was going on. Hanan wants everyone to just be happy. None of the hats fit Arleigh’s head. They were trading and yelling “look at this!” And so it goes.

We took a walk. We got back home, Tye’s pictures are placed all around us. Bria said, “I don’t like  it. It’s making me sad now.” She handed me Tye’s cap and asked me to put it away for a while.

His things are strewn all over my kitchen and living room. A broken rubbermaid sits in the floor. Ball caps with every bill curled from him squeezing them in his hands. Dad’s box hasn’t found a home. His pictures from Vietnam are scattered. Bria forgot her homework today because it was under a large pile of recipes. Most of them came from emails I sent Tye almost ten years ago. They’ll find their new home but I wish they didn’t have to.