My post about prayer had a comment about laments. Thank you GK! Mom has often thought about writing a book about grief. I have decided that she should research and write about laments. I have a whole list of my own and I know she can top me! Anywho… it made me think about my own laments and I decided to write about one of them. (This is tongue in cheek just in case you need the disclaimer.)
My lament is that God brought me to paradise and now I have to leave. It is almost cruel. It is apparently my payback for living so close to my mother and then taking her grandchildren a world away just when she was used to seeing them every couple of weeks. (So so sorry Grandma!)
Way back in the beginning of Ray’s career, we heard people talk about how wonderful Hawaii was as a duty station. We heard people dream of retiring here. We also heard that schools are bad, traffic is bad and if you have school aged children, you don’t want to go there, etc. etc. We sort of avoided it. Then when the opportunity came, we seized it and hoped for the best. The best is what I got. There are worse places to be a stay at home Mom. Kids go to school, I can exercise outside in January! I walk to the school to volunteer. I occasionally take surfing lessons. I sign up for spouse trips that people plan for their entire lives like paddling to the Mokes. (I’m on the waiting list for next month’s trip.)
Really, does it get any better than the sun coming up over there and still water to paddle to an island where you can jump in the Queen’s bath? I don’t love it at all.
Every night after the kids are in bed when we’ve finished up for the day I put a leash on Haole and Ray and Tucker and I file out the screen door behind her. Most nights I don’t have shoes on. We walk across the street ( I said ACROSS THE STREET) to the park for the dogs to take their nightly constitutional. Some nights we walk around the park and by the pool. The mangroves have been cleared so we have a view of Pearl Harbor from my front porch all the way around our little path. The trade winds are usually blowing. Some nights if the temperature has dipped to like 70something, I’ll say I wish I had grabbed my sweatshirt. You can see the silhouette of the palm trees swaying in the moonlight. Did I mention the moonlight? It’s a perfect show every night. Sometimes we meet our neighbors. Most of the time it’s just the four of us dissecting the day or chasing feral cats. It usually then that Ray asks and he asks every dang night, “Are you gonna miss it?” Oh my word yes I’m freaking gonna miss it!
I remember thinking Iceland would be great because I was so hot natured. No more! Hawaii has spoiled me. The perfect temperature. It does get warm in the summer but never ever warm like the sweltering heat of Kentucky. We’ll joke that it’s a bit swampy when it sneaks up to 90 degrees. Sigh.
My family is looking forward to seasons. Call me Olaf because I LOVE my endless summer. I don’t particularly care for raking leaves or shoveling snow. Tomatoes are ripe from the vine all year long. I gave up pumpkin spice lattes long ago and I’m perfectly fine if I never wear boots and sweaters again.
My lament is that I’ve known paradise and we are moving back to the rat race. I’ve found my aloha. I don’t get that bothered even in the gnarly traffic. I think I have a tinge more patience. It is hard to not have patience when this is your view.
Don’t worry. I’ve said my whoa is me and my glass is still half full. I’m thankful for three years in paradise. We’ve been paid to be here for three years when most people save for a lifetime to come for a week. I’ve sort of learned how to surf and I can honestly say that one of my favorite things is being in the water trying your darnedest to catch the next wave and never really being too upset if I miss it because there is usually another one. I wouldn’t know that feeling if we never came. I’m looking forward to taking the girls to museums and actually being able to go to Chick-fil-a if I want to. I’m looking forward to the purge of stuff and fitting things into a new house because after 20 years married to a military man you sort of become a gypsy. It will be fine.
We’ll all miss our little piece of paradise.
Ray will miss 70 degree runs in January. Arleigh is going to miss her band buddies. Hanan is going to miss being able to run free to climb banyan trees. Bria is going to miss having BFFs at her disposal. Jack will miss Mr. Arnie, his school aid. I’ll miss it all.
In the end, it’s ok. It’s a reason to save my money to come back and visit whenever I want to.