Someone is taking P.E. as a summer school course. She’s is on my computer all the dang time with driver’s manuals. (Y’all, pray for me…PLEASE!) For her benefit, no she didn’t fail P.E. With 3 electives in her sophomore schedule… band, P.E. and foreign language requirements, she didn’t have room for an advanced writing course. We’re knocking P.E. out to open up the schedule. Anyway, that would be one of the many reasons for my lack of posting. I’m up early to get this late breaking story to you because, well, it’s too funny.

Arleigh and Hanan have a habit of watching the Dolan Twins. At least, I think that’s who they are. Bria was sitting at the computer last night watching a few of their old videos with me hovering behind her to make sure the content was 8-year old appropriate. She found one where they were testing products more suited to girls than boys that other you tubers I guess had tested. Anyway, they pull out a tampon. Bria starts laughing hysterically. The following is the conversation I had with my little firecracker.

“Mom! They have a tampon!” Laughing ensues. 

“How do you even know what a tampon is?” 

“Because you use them.”

Obviously this stops me in my tracks. Ray is smirking in the corner because we both realize we need to brace ourselves for what might come next. “Huh?” 

“You know.” She gives me that look like I’m being really obnoxious acting like she’s a baby. “You stick them up…” 

I swear to you I nearly died a little. The pause was literally milliseconds that felt like a year.

“…Jack’s nose.”

It was so very hard not to roll around the floor laughing for an hour.

And there it is. Jack has some grotesque bloody noses. I have in fact in the past used a tampon to stop the bleeding. In fact in a pinch at a British soccer camp the girls were attending years ago, I had nothing but a tampon. I used it and pulled it out just before the British soccer coach jumped in the mom-mobile for us to take him home for dinner. I couldn’t find a trashcan. I couldn’t lay a bloody tampon on the ground so I laid it on the wrapper in the cup older. Arleigh and Hanan were the ones that wanted to crawl in a hole or just die that day. 

Now it’s Grandma’s turn. I guarantee she can’t believe I just told this story.